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You can bring this up quite easily by referencing the previous conversation on this topic that you were both present for.
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He might be embarrassed, but he owes you the full story. Uh, it seems like you’re doing fine? Bondage, a threesome, and polyamorous partners in the past three years? That’s more excitement than a lot of people experience in a lifetime.įor maximum extraction potential, work from love and compassion, not shame.
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Given your hawkish approach to discretion, moving at a slower pace and taking the kink as it trickles in might just be what you have to do. You can talk to the kinky/poly partners you’ve had about where to find more and/or congregate.īut I suppose there are ways to maximize your sex having. You may not feel comfortable freely cruising on apps, but you could certainly at least create online profiles without any identifying features (such as a picture of your face) and see what kind of catch that yields. There are poly groups all over the country-surely one is within at least occasionally attainable distance from you. You may also want to go poking around whatever major metropolitan area is nearest you for other fun. This isn’t ideal, but you have a lot of constraints here (I’m talking about the figurative ones in this case). Given that you seem intent on protecting your public identity from being soiled by the fact that you are a human with sexual desires, it may be useful to essentially relocate your sex life while keeping your working/nonsexual social life where it is. It sounds like you’re mostly just anxious-I wonder if the times when you’ve tried to top, you’ve essentially put yourself on the spot and then found yourself too shook to finish the job. You could probably do with a more relaxed scenario, perhaps with a vers guy who is as happy topping as he is bottoming. This way, all the pressure isn’t on your maintained erection to render the sex act successful. You might even be a good candidate for flipping-maybe you need to get fully turned on via bottoming before you can top.